PT 4/3/21

It's been a while, last week I was quarantined did my exercises in my room and stayed away from my family. Heading back in Monday was exciting until I reached my definition of failure. I'm not going to lie Monday was mentally and physically tough and I struggled. I've started doing lunges, balancing exercises, biking, squats, and leg press. Lunges and one legged squats killed me for the first time and I was so disappointed in myself because I felt like I wasn't where I needed to be when in reality I'm 2 weeks ahead. Leg press was my mental breaking point because I did 2 reps at 95 lbs and I physically couldn't do it again. This not only made me mad but it also made me feel this sense of worthlessness because if I couldn't leg press 95 lbs on my right leg how was I ever going to get back on the court. My physical therapist noticed this and the weight got moved down to 65 lbs and I finished my last 2 sets and moved onto core. Moving on helped me realize leg pressing isn't a value of self worth but a value of my strength which isn't going to be 100% 8 weeks post surgery. The more advanced my exercises get the harder I am on myself which is a good and bad thing because I push myself but sometimes I push myself to my breaking point and in this type of recovery that process doesn't work. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but the lessons that I'm learning about myself are making me more self aware and a better athlete. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day filled with new challenges so I can be one step closer to the court.